Construct the dams and impede the rivers… he reminds me.
I envision myself obstructing the voices, causing them to gradually decelerate until I can comprehend them.
“Why are they seated on the floor with their eyes closed? Are they meditating?” Andrew contemplates.
I construct a barrier until Andrew’s voice diminishes, leaving me just with Josie’s.
“Can you hear me?” I enquire, apprehensive about the possibility of causing her harm.
“Indeed!” she exclaims. “You are performing admirably! Do not fear. Navigate as you wish. What do you observe?”
“Nothing,” I murmur, surveying the void of darkness.
“That is acceptable,” she states. “Simply heed the thoughts. Pursue the river.”
Her mind becomes quiet, and I exert myself to detect any noises. In the complete darkness, I abruptly perceive a faint scream, so subtle that I nearly miss it.
Adhere to it, Jimmy directs.
I enter the void from which the sound emanated until I hear it once more, this time more pronounced, acute, and urgent. A sudden, brilliant flash obscures my vision, causing my eyes to open wide, emitting a beam of light akin to a film projector, as fleeting images materialise on the ground before me. Josie and Andrew converge around me, observing the memories that unfold like a cinematic experience for our viewing.
——
The scene depicts a recollection from Josie’s perspective, wherein several children encircle her, brandishing their books and backpacks as if they were weapons. They have effectively trapped her at the rear of a bus, with Josie cowering on the floor, her arms raised defensively. She gazes imploringly at the bus driver for assistance, yet he remains indifferent, disregarding the impending cruelty. The children hurl their books at her, spit on her, and kick her until their amusement wanes, subse
She descends the steps hastily, nearly losing her balance. The recollection fades further amidst her tears as she navigates down a path until she arrives at a substantial pack house. She enters through a rear entrance and quietly limps to the basement, discarding her worn backpack on an aged cot. She kneels and reaches beneath the cot until she retrieves a small, sharp razor. Blinking away her tears, she makes her way to the bathroom.
I feel a deep sense of despair as I observe her trembling hands secure the door. She obscures the mirror with a thick towel, avoiding her reflection. Josie activates the cold tap and positions her wrist over the sink, exposing a multitude of scars on her delicate skin.
I wish to halt the recollection, yet I am unable to close my eyes as I witness in dread what Josie does next.
The razor effortlessly penetrates the skin as Josie glides it along her wrist, leaving a stream of blood in its path. Blood drips down her arm into the sink, yet she raises the blade once more to make a second incision, tilting her head back in agony… and solace.
——
Unable to continue watching, I close my eyes tightly, tears cascading down my face.
The three of us sit motionless for an extended period, refraining from discussing our recent observation until Andrew disrupts the silence by transforming into a huge brown wolf with green eyes.
His wolf reclines beside his Queen, resting his head on her lap and grooming her tattooed wrists.
“It is acceptable, Bodhi,” she reassures him as he whimpers. “I endured. I am fine now.”
Bodhi, Andrew’s wolf, merely whines, his heart aching for his Luna. As her gamma, he experienced her anguish as if it were his own, and it pained him to witness her profound distress at one moment.
“I sincerely apologize,” I convey through our link. “I was unaware… I was unaware that-”
Despite the tears in her eyes, she offers me a warm smile. “It’s not your fault…” she exhales. “At least now we understand that you can not only perceive my thoughts and memories but also externalise them for others to witness. Even I am incapable of that. I still sense considerable power within you, suggesting there is more to your ability. We will need to continue practicing.”
I am equally astonished and relieved that she harbours no anger towards me for revealing such a sensitive memory to her gamma and that she is amenable to continuing our training.
“I believe this is an appropriate juncture to pause for the time being…” she remarks, caressing Bodhi’s head. “We can resume tomorrow when both Andrew and I feel… improved.”
Bodhi stands, pushing the Queen with his head to mount his back. Josie complies, ascending upon her gamma, and the three of us proceed to the Pack home.
