“I do,” he responds. “But so do you.”
I lament in exasperation, recalling the day he elucidated his insignia to me. It was an eloquent discourse, and I relished hearing him convey that I held greater significance for him than I had previously perceived… yet I had already erred in this manner before. I had succumbed to alluring rhetoric and hastily entered into matrimony with a deceiver after merely a few months of courtship, only to subsequently rear my son alone while mending my shattered heart.
With every passing day, the wall surrounding my heart fractures, Jadi making me believe that possibly a wolf might love a plain human, but I am terrified and I do not know how to stop being afraid.
“I-I am not h-him,” he breathes, caressing my cheeks and pulls me in for a soft kiss. Tiny sparks ripple across my face like little waves of pleasure, my body molding against his. “I-I love you,” he whispers, his lips skimming mine as he speaks.
It is the second time he has said it, but my breath still hitches in my throat at his confession. I, however, cannot bring myself to say those words to him because it would make them true and I would be powerless to refuse him any longer.
“I am not him,” he reiterates, his thumbs clearing the tears accumulating in my eyes.
“I am aware of that,” I moan, as Jadi shakes his head at me.
“Do y-you?” he asks, the pain visible in his warm eyes. “B-because it doe- it doesn’t fe-feel that way.”
I don’t know how to answer and my silence seems to make him worried.
“D-do y-ou still love h-him?” He asks, his eyes unwilling to contact mine. “A-am I… am I-I not… Do y-you still think about h-him..?”
“I don’t love him,” I shake my head adamantly, appalled he would think that. “I stopped loving Aldo the day Bray was born,” I reassure him. “A part of me still loved Aldo when I left. I was his wife of two years after all and I thought we would always be together. Those types of feelings don’t go away overnight. Those dreams die hard. But that all changed the moment I held Bray in my arms. Aldo destroyed my trust and whatever possibility there was of us ever being a family died the day he slept with my sister. And I will never forgive him for that. I will never love him again. Never.”
Jadi considers my words carefully, as if wondering if I meant them.
“I do think about Aldo every day though,” I add, Jadi looking down at me in shock and I quickly try to explain myself. “I think about all the lies he fed me to keep me by his side… all the pain I felt while being his Luna. He is a constant reminder that I should be careful with my heart and who I give it to.”
“I-It’s safe with m-me,” Jadi blurts out as I smile at him.
“I … am trying to believe you,” I reply quietly through a small smile. “I am trying to believe you are different. That your words are real and not some fantasy you are trying to feed me, so I’ll fall for you. But then I remember all the beautiful poems Aldo used to tell me, all the picnics under the moonlight, all of our beautiful mornings after a night of passion, all of the little things he did in the beginning that made me believe we would last forever. I remember these things every time I feel myself getting comfortable with you… and then the pain comes crashing down on me all over again. There is a constant war waging in my head every time you kiss me, but I am doing my best to keep those thoughts away. I try to remember how happy you make Bray whenever a bad thought enters my head. It’s just hard sometimes,” I admit. “But I will keep trying… Because I want to be happy with you. I want to love you so much. I do…. I-”
My words get caught in my throat as Jadi’s lips crash against mine, one of his hands clutching the back of my neck and forcing me into him while the other slips down to my waist, teasing the waistband of my shorts.
His lips ignite a fire within me, my skin burning with pleasure as he lifts me up by my thighs. My arms snake around his neck and he carries me to the bed. He gently sets me down on the soft mattress, spreading my legs apart and climbing on top of me while not crushing me under his massive body. It’s times like these that I remember how tiny I am compared to him, how broad his shoulders are to protect me from any harm, how muscular his arms are from all the hard labor he must have done during his childhood.
My back arches as his tongue twirls in my mouth, his hands exploring every contour of my form. A little cry escapes my lips when he grips one of my breasts, shaping it to the shape of his hand over and over again like a stress ball, my n****e hardening against his palm.
He pulls away to tug his shirt over his head, my eyes mesmerized by his beauty. The room is dark but the moonlight spilling into the room illuminates his face and I see the hint of blush on his cheeks. His timid nature never fails to make butterflies flutter in my belly, because despite his shyness, he’s brave enough to show me his scars.
