Nina
Throughout the morning, the medical team has been assessing my cognitive abilities and taxing my patience with their relentless enquiries. The entirety of this experience is exacerbated by the fact that my husband has not taken the initiative to enquire about my well-being. I don’t expect to be coddled or doted on as Aldo is not exactly a very caring man even when he was with Laura, but nonetheless, a simple “Hey, how are you feeling?It would have been pleasant.
Compounding the issue, I am experiencing a severe headache and a sensation of overstimulation across my entire body. My auditory sensitivity exacerbates my headache, particularly due to the incessant beeping of the cardiac monitor. My eyes are irritated by the excessive light entering through the window, and I have been provided with sunglasses to mitigate the discomfort.
The overwhelming stimulus appears to be deceiving my mind, as I am convinced I hear whines and barking in my head during the tests. I regard the sounds with scepticism, attributing them to my imagination and fatigue.
Where is my Gamma? I contemplate while surveying the vacant hospital room. Shouldn’t Marlon be present to attend to my needs? He consistently attended to Laura whenever she was unwell.
A acrid flavour pervades my lips at the contemplation of my sister.
No matter what I do, I will always be stuck in her shadow.
In her youth, Laura epitomised the ideal golden child. She possessed an innate intelligence, consistently securing a position on the Honour Roll, whereas I perpetually fought to maintain pace. I exerted double the effort to achieve inclusion on the list, and when I presented my report card to my mother in hopes of receiving little acknowledgement, she merely shrugged and discarded it onto the table.
What is your desire? Is there a reward?She derided with sarcasm. You are quite foolish! This constitutes the very minimal requirement. I did not leave my nation for you to squander your education. You ought to consistently achieve honour roll status, akin to your sister. Cesé de proferir tonterías y asístame en la preparación de la cena.
I refrained from displaying my report card to her thereafter.
Given Laura’s exceptional prowess in academics, I redirected my focus to athletics. I became a member of the soccer squad and ascended to the position of captain on the cheer team.
Was it significant? Negative.
My mother was perpetually occupied with transporting Laura to her debating competitions, participating in volunteer initiatives at nearby nursing homes, and engaging in community work at the recreation centre, leaving her unable to witness my cheerleading performances. I was compelled to establish my own support network, pursuing acknowledgement through the number of friends I possessed and the attention garnered from the football team. I was branded promiscuous throughout high school, while never engaging in s****l intercourse. I concentrated my efforts on aspects that would garner attention: my appearance. I inherited my mother’s fair complexion and green eyes, and she consistently commended my beauty. I was foolish yet attractive.
Indeed, that rapidly resulted in adverse consequences.
During an evening at a high school gathering, I saw a college student named Skyler from a nearby university, introduced by mutual acquaintances. He invited me to share a drink in the master bedroom, and, naively flattered by the attention of an older man, I acquiesced.
I have little recollection of that night, save for awakening n**e in bed the following morning, accompanied by discomfort between my thighs. Embarrassed, I hurried home, persuading myself that nothing had occurred, that it was merely an unusual coincidence. I refrained from disclosing the information to anyone for various reasons. My parents would have expressed anger at me for clandestinely leaving the house, and the police would have suggested that my attire and willingness to consume alcohol with the boy in the bedroom were provocative behaviours. Moreover, it was my testimony against his, and who would credibly support the claim of the reputedly promiscuous girl in school being raped?
Subsequently, I endeavoured to eliminate all traces of Skyler from my being, engaging in s****l encounters with everyone alive to dissociate from that tumultuous evening. I have come to perceive s*x only as an act, a transaction devoid of deeper significance.
My harrowing situation persisted into college. In contrast to Laura, who consistently possessed clarity on her desires, I found myself utterly disoriented. With an undetermined major, my parents were not the most supportive of my college journey.
“Pursue a career in engineering,” my mother would say. “They earn a substantial income.”
However, my cognitive processes do not align with those of an engineer. It is configured similarly to a cactus.
Chaos ensued when Laura became an EMT and subsequently pursued her Medical Assistant certification, ultimately aiming for admission to PA school, while I remained uncertain about my own career path. I resorted to the only remedy I knew: revelry and alcohol to mitigate the growing void within me.
Everything transformed upon my encounter with Aldo.
He seemed a symbol of hope. I had seen him in several classes, but it was only when we were assigned to collaborate on a sociology project that I truly became acquainted with him. He was amusing and charismatic, consistently exhibiting politeness during our gatherings. In contrast to the majority of guys I had encountered until that moment, Aldo refrained from attempting to engage in s****l advances at the earliest chance. He elicited laughter to the point of abdominal discomfort, and we would engage in extensive discussions about trivialities and profound matters alike. Above all, he was the inaugural individual to instill in me a sense of intelligence.
“Indeed, Nessa.” You are an intelligent woman. Why did I not consider that?He would inform me whenever I conceived an idea for our sociology presentation.
It evoked a sense of warmth and contentment to know that someone valued my views.
I was astonished that he did not invite me out once the project concluded, and I felt much pain upon realising that it may have been a mere figment of my imagination. He elucidated that he was in search of his soulmate and could only provide a casual relationship till he discovered ‘The One.’ I accepted the proposal, anticipating that eventually he would regard me as a person deserving of affection.
As time elapsed, my impatience intensified, prompting me to employ the classic ‘jealousy-inducing’ strategy. I reluctantly took Laura to a fraternity party that I knew Aldo would attend, primarily to appease our parents, but this decision ultimately became the gravest error of my life.
