Affirmative, however…
However, there is nothing! Jimmy emits a growl. No further concealment. Cease the quiet! It is essential to acknowledge that you are no longer the same young kid who once stood before the mirror reciting poetry while your father loomed behind you with a cane. Your companion grasps your hand in moments of fear and kisses you when she is uncertain of how to proceed. Your puppy desires you to assume the role of his father. Your mother has cared for you for the past twenty years without grievance. You possess a friend that aspires to guide you in becoming an improved version of yourself, alongside me, your counterpart. We shall collectively bear this load and demonstrate to Ricky that we merit every kiss, every embrace, and every measure of her affection. We are entitled to happiness. I am fatigued. I am weary of being marginalised while observing others establish their positions in this world, excluding us. I intend to construct a residence with my companion. I aspire to lead a pack like the Moon Goddess intended, and above all, I desire your happiness.
Before I can complete my analysis of Jimmy’s reasoning, Ricky retracts the covers and positions her head on my shoulder, her body pressing against my back as she encircles me with her arms.
“I am attempting to comprehend you,” she murmurs, her breath grazing the nape of my neck. I am neither furious nor upset with you for being silent; nonetheless, I require the truth about you. I require knowledge of your identity if you are to be my companion.
The entire world vanishes as I focus on her words.
Her companion…
She encircles my bicep with her fingers and applies a firm squeeze.
“Please refrain from concealing anything from me henceforth,” she whispers, her fingers upward to caress my beard. I wish to see you. I seek to understand all of your shortcomings and deficiencies… all of your suffering and concerns. Your assumption that everyone else is flawless except for yourself is erroneous. I possess my own imperfections, aspects of myself that I detest as well.
Astounded, I pivot my head and gaze at her. What aspects of herself could she potentially despise? She is flawless.
“Do not appear so astonished,” she quietly giggles to herself before her expression darkens. “I despise numerous aspects of myself…”
What audacity she have to despise herself?
I position myself over her, seizing her wrists and restraining them on either side of her head. I reclined between her legs, her knees up at my sides, and an expression of amusement on her face.
“What?” She murmurs, her lips nearly brushing against me. “Do you believe I do not occasionally detest my own existence?” Her eyes reflect anguish as she glares at me. “Do you believe I am strong?” She derides. “I am not.”
Tears build in her eyes, yet she resolutely suppresses them, fluttering her lashes to dispel their presence before regarding me with defiance. I have just now come to understand her meaning.
She conceals herself… much like I do.
It is time for us both to emerge from concealment.
I can sense her heart racing in her chest, each pulse following the last while we remain silent. Heat radiates in my cheeks as she bends forward, her lips making contact with mine in a tender kiss. A multitude of butterflies flutters within me, yet I withdraw before my thoughts become incoherent. A perplexed expression momentarily appears in her eyes as I elevate myself onto my knees, assisting her into a seated posture. My face flushes as I close her knees and pivot her so that her back is on my chest.
“What are you doing?”
I cover her eyes with my palms, and her voice diminishes. She breathes in gradually, recognising that I favour observing her history and revealing my own above verbal communication.
“Very well,” she exhales, leaning her head against my shoulder. “Demonstrate it to me.”
I lower my defences, permitting the stream of her ideas to merge with mine, therefore uniting our minds.
Here commences the endeavor….
…Laura’s Perspective
The darkness is unexpectedly calming, but it is not long before I perceive a burst of white light accompanied by the murmurs of a tiny boy. Steeling myself to confront Jadi’s history, I gradually approach the illumination until I find myself in Jadi’s former bedroom once more.
Young Jadi stands before a mirror, clutching a tiny book in his hands. He seems to be older now than in the previous recollection he displayed, possibly 7 years old, yet his bruises remain visible.
“Strength is to lead.” “St-st-strength is to…” Jadi pauses momentarily, brushing away a few tears from his cheek. He inhales deeply and scrutinises his reflection in the mirror. “Strength is to fight.” His little hands tremble, fingers tightly clutching the book as his rage escalates. “Strength is to make your enemies bleed.” Co-courage involves undertaking actions despite fear.
